#ShareTheLoad - Times then and now

Reading the statistic report shared by Ariel, I see myself falling in the 76% category earlier when I too used to believe that not sharing laundry duties at home still makes me an ideal husband, father and man but now my perspective towards my duties has changed. I feel that I belong to the 25% category where I believe that men should wash their own clothes and share responsibilities with their wife.


A woman is an epitome of beauty, love and care and making her responsible for almost everything at home is not fair. Women work 24/7 and complete all the duties of the house without complaining but there can be atleast one responsibility we can share with our wives and that's the duty of sharing the laundry work. Ariel's ShareTheLoad campaign makes it clear that men can easily operate the washing machine and be repsonsible to get their clothes washed at home daily. The job is simple and it doesn't even require supervision and while our wives get the food cooked and take care of our children, we can ourselves get our clothes ready and share the burden of responsibilities.

Earlier when washing machines weren't launched, women used to work too hard to get their laundry work done. They used to collect vessels of water and washing the clothes used to be a huge burden for them. We had a family of 4 people and when we could not afford a washing machine, I used to see my wife struggle to wash the clothes as there used to be over 40-50 clothes to wash daily and since we had water shortage problems too, she used to struggle a lot to save water. She had to not only wash the clothes but dry them and iron them daily which was trouble some for her.



Now when we have 2 washing machines at home, it is easier for me to take over the laundry responsibility and also make my son wash his own school clothes and socks. It is time up that I teach my son too to help his mother in the laundry work and share the responsibilities so that he too behaves the same way with his wife. I need to be an ideal husband and father now so that my children too learn from me and behave the same way with their spouses. Laundry work is no longer only a woman's responsibility and if men like us come forward and help our wives today, our future generation too will change their views. I am sharing the load today, will you join me?


I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.

ShareTheLoad - It's time we change our perspective

I checked the new advertisement of Ariel and it brought tears to my eyes when I saw the father thinking about the work his daughter does for the family and thinks of sharing this responsibility with his wife. I am a father myself and when I used to look at my wife doing the house chores, I used to feel happy that she is performing her duties of a mother, wife and daughter so well. I never realized that it is not only her responsibility to perform the household duties and felt that every women has a duty to look after the house and the man's responsibility is to work and bring in money. It was not that I felt I am superior to women but it happens in every family that the woman takes care of the family while a man doesn't and his responsibility is only to work and rest at home. It was my view as I had never seen my mother as she passed away when I was 6 and in case of my sister, she was working very hard  in the office as well as at home. I has been happening in almost every house but it's time up that we change our view.

It took me time to realize my wife's hard work and it was when my daughter grew big and she started taking care of the housework. I used to stop her from doing the housework and tell her to study but she used to insist on doing it. One day when I told her to not cook the food and make her mom cook the food as it is her responsibility, she spoke back and answered "It's not only my mom's responsibility dad. It's everyone's responsibility. Whether it's a woman or man, it doesn't matter. Mom works very hard everyday and today is Mother's Day. I want this day to be special for her. After all, when I'll get married, it will be my responsibility to take care of all the chores of the house and may be there won't be anyone to help me then and my daughter would be the person to share my responsibilities." Hearing her, I was taken aback and it was then I changed my view thinking that it is not only a women's responsibility to do all the house chores and I being a man also need to share responsibilities of my house and contribute my time to my household while I am not working.

I am glad that Ariel has come up with a #ShareTheLoad campaign and it makes us husbands also to get a change their viewpoint and share atleast the laundry responsibility. The new washing machine will surely bring in a positive change.

I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.

#LoveAndLaughter - Reaching late on the most auspicious day of my life

For any person, their marriage day is the most memorable moment in their life. However, in my case, my marriage day was the most memorable and laughter filled moment as well in my life. I still remember the day when our marriage was fixed and my wife and I were so happy that we are going to enter the sacrament of marriage. It was an arranged marriage and I and my wife barely knew each other for a month but we still knew that we are meant for each other and can spend our entire life happily.

Our marriage was fixed on Sunday by the priest and and I my spouse started shopping for our wedding outfit and all the other necessary ornaments for the wedding day. A day before the wedding, I couldn't get sleep all night as there was a lot of excitement in my mind and plus I had partied till 3:00 a.m. with my friends who had held a bachelor's party at my place. I was so tired but still I kept thinking about the most important day of my life that was few hours ahead and I din't even realize when my eyes closed and I fell asleep.

The next morning when I woke up, it was 9:00 a.m. and I had to reach the church within 2 hours as the wedding was scheduled at 11:00 a.m. There were no mobile phones at that time and my landline as well was not working. The church was 30 mins away from my home and I had to get ready in just an hour. Since the earlier day I had told my friends to not disturb me on my wedding day and just arrive in the church on time, nobody had even come to wake me up that day. I took a shower in 10 minutes just ironed my shirt in 5 mins and started wearing the pant in a hurry. With a result, I noticed that the seat had torn which was so embarrassing. I started stitching it and it took my 30 minutes to get it stitched properly and then I took my car keys and just rushed to the church. Due to traffic, I reached the church 20 minutes late and when I reached there, my to-be wife and all our relatives were upset and annoyed that I reached so late on my own wedding day. I composed myself and made an apologetic face to convince the priest and my to-be wife and tried explaining what had happened due to which I became late. Childishly I told him about my pants being torn and all the guests started laughing at me which was even more embarrassing. My wife touched my shoulder and smiled at me, giving me courage and then the priest started the rituals soon.

It was the best day of my life and a funny one too. I got the love of my life that day and it has been 25 years since we are married.


This post is a part of #LoveAndLaughter activity at BlogAdda in association with Caratlane.

#LoveAndLaughter - Snoring at night

It was in the year 1999 when I and my family shifted to Mumbai and we started living in a building unlike the place which we used to live in earlier that was a bungalow without neighbors, traffic and chaos all the time. Here in the city, we had to make so many adjustments and I and my wife kept working for a month to settle in the house and open bank accounts, get identity cards and so on. Due to all this stress and hectic life, I used to suffer from constant headaches and even start snoring. I had never suffered from snoring at night but it was all because of the stress I had taken all the 30 days of the month that it became a sickness.

The first 2-3 days, it was my daughter who used to hear me snore at night but she never paid attention as she just heard the noise and fell asleep. My wife too never noticed it. After 3 days, my wife suddenly woke up at night due to the noise and noticed that I was snoring. She got disturbed the whole night but she did not wake me up as she thought I would stop at some point of the time. With the result, she did not get sleep and when she woke me up in the morning, she told me about the issue. I being a stubborn man, I refused to believe that I could snore at night as I had never been doing it all the earlier years and nobody in my family had such a problem. I just laughed at her thinking she must be dreaming about me snoring at night. She got upset with me and let the topic end as she thought it must be a temporary sickness of mine.

The next day when I again began snoring, she woke me up in the night and told me to stop. I again laughed at her and did not believe her at all. It was after few days that she took a webcam and recorded me sleeping and snoring at night. She showed the video to me the next day and my wife and kids kept laughing at me and I felt very embarrassed. I later got cured of the sickness by taking homeopathic tablets but my wife still has the recording with her and she keeps teasing me that she would upload the video online. It was a damn funny moment in out life and we still keep laughing over it whenever we see the video and it makes us remember that we love each other so much. Such moments are worth cherishing.



This post is a part of #LoveAndLaughter activity at BlogAdda in association with Caratlane.

Down the memory lane - #TalesOf2015

I am sad and also excited that the year has finally come to an end. I am sad because this year came in with a lot of surprises and it ended very soon while I am excited because 2016 is going to bring in more special moments in my life and will be again a bag full of surprises like 2015. There were few special things that happened with me during this year and here I would like to list some of them that were memorable and sweet:

1. Jeevdani visit:

I visited Jeevdani temple in February for the first time and it was a memorable moment for me. The temple had almost 1200 steps and I had never climbed so many steps in my life and hence by the time I reached the temple, my energy was completely drained but the moment I realized that I reached the temple, my happiness had no bounds. I stuck a coin on the idol and it's believed that if the coin sticks, your wish gets fulfilled. However, my wish was not fulfilled but I am happy that I did visit the temple and take God's blessings.

2. Meeting Irfan Khan:

I got an opportunity to meet the famous and fabulous actor Irfan Khan during a shoot and that was the most exciting moment for me. I have seen almost all his movies of which my favorite one was Life of Pi and Lunch Box. I admire him for his versatility and he can play any character with ease and he does not need to put in too much effort for his role as it comes spontaneously to him. I dint get to chat with him for a long time but meeting him itself was an achievement for me. I couldn't click a picture as he left within few minutes but I hope I get an opportunity again and I can get to chat with him.

3. Ill health of my grand mom:

Along with the happy moments, I also felt low at times. My grand mom suddenly fell ill and had to be admitted in the hospital and for half the year, I spent time taking care of her and she is still not well. I feel bad at times when I see her in this condition as she is not able to walk as well. For me, my families' health is very important and hence when one member also falls sick, it makes me too feel concerned for him or her.



I’m sharing my #TalesOf2015 with BlogAdda.

Ask yourself and get your answers #KnowYourRights

Raising our voice against violence can only be done if we ourselves have a mindset o reporting these cases. It is usually noted that people talk about these crimes and how the reasons due to which these things happen while some say that many cases are not reported but if one is made to think over it and put ourselves in the shoes of the victim, it would then make us think if we could report our case or not. We need to ask the following questions to ourselves and find the answers which would help us justify our advise.

"What happens if I don't report my case...What would be the outcome?"

This is the first question that arises in the mind as to whether we shoud report this case or not. We start thinking about the girl's respect, the family's respect and the outcome of reporting. We know that reporting these incidents would prove helpful but that moment is tough for any family and hence these thoughts start coming out in a different way.

We need to instead think about the criminal who is roaming freely due to our fear. He's benefiting and out to commit another crime which is the main reason we need to report against this criminal else another family will be harmed like us.

"Why did it happen to me...What will happen about my future"

The next question that arises in our mind is the future of a GIRL after a sexual assault incident. The girl's reputation is considered to be similar to glass and if it is harmed, the girl herself feels she is unwanted and there is no future for her. Her family too starts having similar thoughts and due to this some plan to leave the city and go. We should instead ask ourselves that by leaving a city, will the issue be solved? Will it be a right way to deal with this issue? What's the solution then?

It's true that these incidents aren't easy to forget and it remains with the person all their life but the victim does need the emotional support and needs to be encouraged to come again and live her life as she was before. In such cases, we and our parents need to go through counseling and get moral support. In such matters, the sensitivity of the case is taken care off and hence reporting such cases makes it only better for the victim and the family to feel that they aren't alone but they do have support they deserve.

"What is the criminal does not get punished...What if he harms me or my family"

This question is the most important one of all as many families who even go ahead and report such crimes are forced to take the FIR back due to family pressure or due to the criminal's supporters and police warnings.

In such matters, the answers lie within the question itself. It's a criminal offense if the police warns the victim or if the family is warned of any physical damage. Such inspectors who refuse to write an FIR and immediately suspended as it's our right to lodge a complaint. We may be aware of this but we need to overcome this fear and stand for our rights. The criminal has to get punished and if we don't stand for ourselves, nobody can ever help us in such matters.

I’m writing this blog post to support Amnesty International’s#KnowYourRights campaign at BlogAdda. You can also contribute to the cause by donating or spreading the word.

Support #KnowYourRights Campaign

Whenever I open the newspapers, my heart pains when I read the headlines "Save the girl child, "I don't deserved to be raped", "Is it a sin to be born as a girl...." These news articles make me cry for the girls who have gone through these crimes and make me more concerned about the females in my own family. Since I myself have met many people who have been through sexual violence and have been quite about it, I feel I have somehow failed in convincing them to report these cases and raise their voice against the crime. Here I hope my post helps those who remain silence to come forward and express their views with others.

The first reason I would state here is "The one who has sinned has to suffer...Not you"

It's an irony when some men worship goddesses and then go ahead and commit such shameless and sinful acts against other women. Women keep quite and feel miserable about their state but it shouldn't be the case where the woman needs to be quiet and hide. She needs to teach such sinners a lesson by reporting them and standing against such crimes. The criminals are the ones who need to suffer and get severe punishment.

There is no need for the person who has been a victim to remain silent but she needs to face the situation and make the criminal hide his face and feel the pain he has given the women. Earlier, rapes weren't considered as severe as other crimes like murder but there needs to be a law which makes it as harmful as a murder as rapes kill the soul of the women leaving her with a mark in her soul. It kills the soul of a woman and hence 7 years punishment is not enough for the criminal. This law can only be changed if these cases are reported and hence it is necessary to make an FIR and punish the criminal for his sinful act.

The second reason I would state here is "Live your life normally"

When such incidents of sexual violence take place, the victim is harmed a lot and she needs to undergo medical treatment and counselling to help her physically and mentally. When the incident is reported, it then becomes the responsibility of the Government to provide medical aid to the victim and make her come out of the trauma so that she can start a new life.


The third reason I would state here is "You are not wrong"

The society often makes it the victim's mistake when such crimes are reported but the KnowYourRights campaign has proved that the girl has a complete right to speak against the criminal and people who consider the girl wrong and not the criminal. The girl should not blame herself at al whether it's her dressing or her behavior as these incidents aren't provoking but it is ONLY the crime committed by the criminal. Reporting these incidents will help the girl to tell herself that she has a right to speak up and point a finger at those who point fingers on her. The society has to change its POV.

 

I’m writing this blog post to support Amnesty International’s#KnowYourRights campaign at BlogAdda. You can also contribute to the cause by donating or spreading the word.